6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
