i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Someone shattered a urinal.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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