He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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