every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize