roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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