I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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