is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
only if we run a train.
done.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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