u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
NoShamevember. You game?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
