i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
