The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Randomize
