I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
