Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
