Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
