You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
