at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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