For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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