do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
