My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Sober January is a disaster.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
