Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
