we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
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