he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
