covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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