I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I want to fling myself into the sun
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
