oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize