with your own penis?
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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