I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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