Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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