i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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