Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(863): View more from Florida

Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!

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(856): View more from New Jersey

Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.

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(239): View more from Florida

I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..

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(813): View more from Florida

His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.

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(815): View more from Illinois

If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.

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(914): View more from New York

Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.

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(641): View more from Iowa

No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..

(563): View more from Iowa

How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them

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