just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
