I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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