My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
