you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize