Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
