Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
