we should wear snuggies to the strip club
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize