The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
