If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Is Oprah even human
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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