please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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