So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
