I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
