She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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