Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize