Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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