Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
