i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
