Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
