I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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