just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
