Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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