I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
