she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
