she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
