Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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