So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
