We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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