TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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