I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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