I can't watch pbs sober anymore
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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