don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
