i think my tv is drunk
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
